The Petophile can't read, but here's a book review anyway

The Petophile can't really read books—unless it's picture books. (And you know what kind of pictures, if you know what I mean.)

Despite that, here's a book review of The Complete Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook Man Skills. Aside from a hyperbolic and ridiculously long title, it contains instructions for "How to Prevent Snoring" (sew a tennis ball onto the back of your pajamas), "How to Take the Last Doughnut" (are they cereal?) and this little gem, "Facial Hair Options":

None of these topics strike me as a worst-case scenarios, although there does seem to be a few bona-fide ones included, like "How to Build a Shelter in the Snow" and ... "How to Toilet Train Your Cat"? Well, at least there's one. And, in a life-or-death situation in which your cat demands a fort, this book will have you covered:

But you don't have to take my word for it.