Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Favorite kitty porn of 2010

2010's days are numbered. So, dear purrverted readers, which kitty porn posts on the Petophile has made your top-three list?

Was it the deer in "Roadside attractions"? Caseyface's film debut, "Cat. In a box: The motion picture"? Or maybe the best teeth?

No matter what they are, share your favorites.

And let's hope 2011 is full of new and disgusting kittensploitation!

Monday, December 27, 2010

Wild goose chase

The Pet got a submission of nasty animals from a human, along with a narrative. According to the human, the goose chase went like this:

1. Momma and baby together.

2. Baby gets separated and starts squeaking.

3. Other birds start responding. (I hear it takes a village.)

4. Momma comes and says, "Here I am!"

5. OK, good. Now back to a floatable spot where you can keep up a bit better.

6. Sweet.


(Photos by J. Alexander)

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Don't call it a comeback/Baby burro

Like Ladies Love Cool James, despite the lack of posts for the past several days, this is not a comeback: The Petophile's been here ... but the Internets haven't been there for the Petophile, thus the lack of a daily dose of kitty porn for you two readers recently.

 So, remember way back in June when the Petophile posted this photo below? No, of course you don't.
Well, with the photo, it was written:
"These are a couple of free-range burros on a Caribbean island, standing in the middle of the road near the beach. The second one, a foal, is the out-of-focus gray thing taking up the right third of the shot, and that's mama on the left, of course. It's an extreme close-up of the foal: The black oblong spot is its eye."
And that "Another (clearer) photo of the babe exists; I'll post if it's popularly requested."

Only one reader requested it. Another comment was made, but was "deleted by its author." Considering that the Petophile's readership is only two people (the rest of the visitors seem to be people super creepily trolling for Caseyface—not the cute, fuzzy one who puts her face in a bag, but  some underage exhibitionist. So not cool, dudes), we must come to terms that one vote is, sadly, 50 percent of the readership.
Without further ado, here's the burro foal on that tropical island, far, far away:

Such nasty eyebrows and delightfully icky ears!
Worth the wait? You tell me.

(Photo by the Petophile.)

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Fresian hair care

 Fresians are a breed of horses that are typically black and have luxuriously long manes and tails. This one here is a show horse, so it's mane and forelock are braided and it's wearing a hood to keep it all clean.
The more you know, the more petophilic you can be.
(Photo by s.)

Wednesday, December 15, 2010


You will be missed.

(Photos by s.)

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Petophile kind of reads another book

Who wants another book review? Nobody? Ah, who asked you, anyway.

Here we've got Dear Sparkle: Cat-to-Cat Advice From the World's Foremost Feline Columnist. The book is "authored" by Sparkle, a little minxy Somali breed cat. The book consists of letters written Dear-Abby style by cats to Sparkle, thus the "cat-to-cat" part in the subtitle. They are divvied up into different sections—"Games Kitties Play," "Cat vs. Human," "Epi-curious"—with each response accompanied by a photo of Sparkle. The photos (what the Petophile was really interested in, obviously) are amatureish, but since that's usually OK for kitty porn, they get a pass. Just barely. This is actually a decent book to read or to give to someone who lacks understanding of cats, and because it's masked in Sparkle's "voice" it makes it humorous. You know, a little sugar to make the medicine go downskis.

Above is one of the better photos. I believe it depicts Sparkle (on the right) messing up a tort's face.

Monday, December 13, 2010

The Petophile can't read, but here's a book review anyway

The Petophile can't really read books—unless it's picture books. (And you know what kind of pictures, if you know what I mean.)

Despite that, here's a book review of The Complete Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook Man Skills. Aside from a hyperbolic and ridiculously long title, it contains instructions for "How to Prevent Snoring" (sew a tennis ball onto the back of your pajamas), "How to Take the Last Doughnut" (are they cereal?) and this little gem, "Facial Hair Options":

None of these topics strike me as a worst-case scenarios, although there does seem to be a few bona-fide ones included, like "How to Build a Shelter in the Snow" and ... "How to Toilet Train Your Cat"? Well, at least there's one. And, in a life-or-death situation in which your cat demands a fort, this book will have you covered:

Sorry Mister Jackson, are you for real?

 Whoa! Them claws!

 Yes, we get it Mister Jackson, them paws are huge.
 I hope your tongue is big enough to clean those massive things.
Wait a minute—is that someone's chest you're lounging on? No, go ahead: Make yourself comfortable.


Saturday, December 11, 2010

Where the buffalo roam

This bison roams inside this kooky couple's home. I would want to be his friend, too.
Video by 20/20, but don't worry: It's John Stossel free! (His face reminds me of a mask. Is that weird? It looks like it's been plastic surgerized and then topped with that Magnum P.I. mustache. I like the bison's face loads more.)

Friday, December 10, 2010

Rare red foxes found in Sierra Nevada

In this photo taken Monday, Sept. 6, 2010 and provided by the U.S. Forest Service, a red fox is seen after it was photographed with a remote camera north of Yosemite National Park . Once thought to be extinct, federal wildlife biologists have sighted two more rare Sierra Nevada red foxes they believe are related to one that was photographed this summer near Yosemite National Park. (AP photo/U.S. Forest Service ) 
This photo of this foxy fox was taken by a remote camera near Yosemite National Park. Scott Sonner wrote about it for the Associated Press:
"Federal wildlife biologists have confirmed sightings of two more Sierra Nevada red foxes that once were thought to be extinct."


"Scientists believe the foxes are related to another that was photographed this summer near Yosemite National Park. More importantly, they say, DNA samples show enough diversity in the Sierra Nevada red foxes to suggest a 'fairly strong population' of the animals may secretly be doing quite well in the rugged mountains about 90 miles south of Reno."

What a beautiful animal. Read the rest of the story here.

(Photo courtesy of AP photo/U.S. Forest Service.)

More About the Four Little Kittens, the conclusion

And now, for the conclusion of More About the Four Little Kittens
The anticipation was killing you, wasn't it. Wait no more:

(Crazy. Cat legs don't even bend that way. And what's with the pooch? A pooch on a kitten? This goes against the laws of nature.)

(Cats afraid of mice? Also going against the laws of nature. Totally whack.)

(Squishy face!)

That's the end. Don't call it anti-climatic; call it a happy ending. I guess?

Thursday, December 9, 2010

More About the Four Little Kittens, part 6

 Are you tired of reading these Four Little Kittens posts? Too bad. The story's not over yet, and these poor animals had to endure being stuffed into these tiny clothes and unnatural positions for this limp-noodle children's story. So the least you can do is suck it up and have a little respect for these creatures who didn't get a choice to be involved.

Here's part 6. Enjoy!

 (Pip's looking a little more wolfy than kitteny—and mad. I think his jumpsuit may have been restricting his blood flow.)


 (This is ...

 ... messed up!)

(I'd like to introduce you to your new screen saver:)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

More About the Four Little Kittens, part 5

 Busted! Pa's name is "Old Hisser." Ha.


 (Lovely chick.)

 (Creepy. What's going on with the puppy's lower half?)

 (Creepy times three.)

(Fishing fail!)
What's for dinner? See part 6 ...