You're freaking me out

The Petophile has had visitors recently from all around the world who:
a) found this site by Googling "petophile,"
b) visit lasted 0 seconds
and
c) have not visited again.

This leads me to believe that these visitors weren't interested in cute kitties, are terrible at spelling, and the implications of that seriously freaks me out. The hall of shamers visited from:

- Eastpointe, Michigan

- Lugau, Sachsen, Germany

- Winchester, New Hampshire

- Alabaster, Alabama

- Crofton, Maryland

- Olean, New York

- Fort Smith, Arkansas (searched for "petophyle")

- Mount Druitt, New South Wales, Australia

- Fulton, Missouri

- Brandon, Florida

- New Delhi, Delhi, India

Cat on a phone: Cat in a sink

 Picky drinkin'.

Only fresh from the (bathroom) tap will do.

Don't get your nastypants wet, little kitty.

(Photos by the Petophile.)

Cat on a phone: Sleeping style

Sometimes all that petophiles have at their disposal is a cheap cell-phone camera to exploit whatever poor creature they happen upon. 

Aren't you glad they did?

(Photos by the Petophile.)

Bug porn

Bugs on a phone ... making baby bugs.

(Photos by the Petophile.)

Squirrellyface

Hello, squirrelface. Come a little closer.

That's better.

Wait, don't hide!

Lovely.

Thanks for the gross times.

(Photos by the Petophile.)

Ikea makes kitty pjorn!

Ikea is full of affordable, assembly-required, hard-to-pronounce-named furniture—and kittens! 

In Swedish, it's kattunge pjorn. Watch it here.

Who does this little corkscrew tail belong to?

Pearl, a pug puppy.

 

Say hello to her wrinkled face.

(Photos by the Petophile.)

I want to be your friend

(Photos by the Petophile.)

Cat on a box vs. cat in a box: The conclusion

And now, for the conclusion of the epic battle of cat on a box vs. cat in a box:

The claws came out.

And, apparently, so did a tongue.

Sunk right in!

Regained composure,

and attacked from a new angle.

Anyone puke yet? Here's your last—and perhaps most worthy—chance:

Teef!

But why is cat on a box so violent?

Anyway, this went on for a bit longer, then Caseyface (cat in a box) had enough. She got rid of that pesky cat on a box and reclaimed the territory on top of the box for herself. It is her box, after all.

(Photos by the Petophile.)

Cat on a box vs. cat in a box

Cat wanted a cozy nap. Went into a box.

But another cat wanted to stir up some trouble.

So it begins, the battle of cat on a box versus cat in a box. Who will come out on top?

Cat on a box went on the box, obviously, because she was jealous of the cat in the box.

Cat in a box had to defend her sweet cardboard territory.

She's about to strike ... !
What's going to happen?
To be continued ...

(Photos by the Petophile.)

One blue eye

This is a real animal.

And that eye is blue. The eye on the other side is brown.

This may be one of the most ethereal and elegant Clydesdales you've ever laid your eyes of any color on.

(Photos by the Petophile.)

All hail the Queen's dogs

The Queen of England famously keeps corgis. These aren't hers, of course, but they're pretty cute, although their short legs and comparatively long bodies kind of freak me out. But it's not they're fault, they were just born that way—thanks to the manipulative breeding done by humans!

Handsome.

Tongue!

(Photos by the Petophile.)

A reason to be jealous

Because no matter how hard you try, well-intentioned humans,

your babies cannot ever be as cute as this little Belgian colt. (Yes, he's little. That's his mom behind him.)

Family meal time. Too sweet.

See? He's just a tiny thing. It's all relative.

And look, Mom's eyes are closed.

This is intensely, severely disgusting. Can't. Handle.

(Photos by the Petophile.)

The view up there

Looks mighty fine.

(Photos by the Petophile.)

Plush paws

(Photo by the Petophile.)

Highlights

Wanna play a little game? No? Too bad.

Let's play "What's wrong with this picture?" just like in that children's magazine in boring dentist offices, Highlights.

Here's the picture:

One:

Two:

Three:

Good job! But are you sure you're not missing anything else?

Four:

Sorry, but this was actually a trick question. Everything is wrong with this picture. It's just too vile.

(Photo by the Petophile.)